Her first words were not hello as she entered my examination room during my latest physical but instead, we must find you a cardiologist. It was not the words that upset me but how blunt they were spoken. I wonder how my doctor would have felt if someone spoke in such a way to her.
Due to my new patient status it took some time to get a cardiologist appointment and even a few more days to get the tests done but it all turned out fine. Just a scare due to stress and anxiety.
My heart is fine or so I thought.
Three weeks ago our family endured a very hard test as we got the sudden call that my 31 year old niece passed away. I have gone to many funerals through my life but when you attend one of someone so young it makes the tests of time even harder to bare. She suffered seizure disorder but despite this life challenge the death came on suddenly. We had no time to prepare our hearts and minds.
In the blink of an eye I had to deal with another series of blunt words I did not expect.
Just one month before her passing our family was celebrating the marriage of our son and daughter in law and suddenly we were gathered again but black ensembles replaced our festive formal attire. The tests of time we now find ourselves facing feels like an uphill battle with occasional joyful moments mixed in.
On New Years day of this year I had visions of the perfect year as the kids wedding was approaching and both my husband and I would be turning 60 and we had many other planned trips and celebrations filling the white boxes of our calendar. I purchased a digital photo frame and titled it my 2019 suitcase of happiness. I began packing it with photographs of my daughter in laws bridal shower, their wedding, my sister's 65th birthday and Easter and suddenly the picture frame's title changed. What was intended to hold memories and events of 2019 suddenly had downloaded glimpses of years gone by. The fast moving digital frame of life had a sudden blunt turn that none of us expected.
I gave this whole nightmare a lot of thought and this along with discussions with family made me aware of a huge lesson.
My nieces death made me stop judging my doctor's bluntness but instead consider she may have been feeling overwhelmed or stressed the day she hurt my heart. I myself have spoken harsh words when feeling poorly that I now know have hurt others hearts. With the knowledge of the impact bluntness had on me I now make it a daily practice to try to speak gentler. Hurting people hurt others and that is not fair! Instead of hurting each others hearts we need to communicate better. We also never fully know what a person is going through. Love and compassion is what fixes hearts.
The cardiologist had no idea how broken my heart would soon be however her prescription for health stays the same. When feeling low or anxious change your activity is what was told to me. Exercise, get together with friends and loved ones, eat well, listen to music, take a walk, read a book and pursue a hobby. The true test of time is doing these things when our hearts have damage but it is the most important time to force ourselves.
One thing we all have in common are beating hearts and I now learned how easily they can be broken.
I sadly cannot change sudden loss but I can and will work hard on keeping my heart healthy and expressing loving words to those around me every day that I can. Our younger generation learned the hard knocks of the test of time too early. My prayer is for them to not have to endure this pain again for a very long time.
Two months ago I had no idea I had a broken heart. I will always be saddened by this experience and while my heart will never be totally fixed life has forever changed. In honor of Megan I am going to close with some advice that I feel a doctor may not say but I know to be true for sure!
Keep taking photographs friends. They are not for today but for one day.
My digital frame's title changed but I am blessed to have so many past memories to add today. Megan's beautiful shining face on my frame gives my heart peace and knowing I have her love embedded on my heart will help me through each test of time I will face the following days, months and even years to come.
The prescription for true healing of the heart is compassion, love and memories. Do all of these things on a daily basis and you will get through all the tests of times in your life too.
Due to my new patient status it took some time to get a cardiologist appointment and even a few more days to get the tests done but it all turned out fine. Just a scare due to stress and anxiety.
My heart is fine or so I thought.
Three weeks ago our family endured a very hard test as we got the sudden call that my 31 year old niece passed away. I have gone to many funerals through my life but when you attend one of someone so young it makes the tests of time even harder to bare. She suffered seizure disorder but despite this life challenge the death came on suddenly. We had no time to prepare our hearts and minds.
In the blink of an eye I had to deal with another series of blunt words I did not expect.
Just one month before her passing our family was celebrating the marriage of our son and daughter in law and suddenly we were gathered again but black ensembles replaced our festive formal attire. The tests of time we now find ourselves facing feels like an uphill battle with occasional joyful moments mixed in.
On New Years day of this year I had visions of the perfect year as the kids wedding was approaching and both my husband and I would be turning 60 and we had many other planned trips and celebrations filling the white boxes of our calendar. I purchased a digital photo frame and titled it my 2019 suitcase of happiness. I began packing it with photographs of my daughter in laws bridal shower, their wedding, my sister's 65th birthday and Easter and suddenly the picture frame's title changed. What was intended to hold memories and events of 2019 suddenly had downloaded glimpses of years gone by. The fast moving digital frame of life had a sudden blunt turn that none of us expected.
I gave this whole nightmare a lot of thought and this along with discussions with family made me aware of a huge lesson.
My nieces death made me stop judging my doctor's bluntness but instead consider she may have been feeling overwhelmed or stressed the day she hurt my heart. I myself have spoken harsh words when feeling poorly that I now know have hurt others hearts. With the knowledge of the impact bluntness had on me I now make it a daily practice to try to speak gentler. Hurting people hurt others and that is not fair! Instead of hurting each others hearts we need to communicate better. We also never fully know what a person is going through. Love and compassion is what fixes hearts.
The cardiologist had no idea how broken my heart would soon be however her prescription for health stays the same. When feeling low or anxious change your activity is what was told to me. Exercise, get together with friends and loved ones, eat well, listen to music, take a walk, read a book and pursue a hobby. The true test of time is doing these things when our hearts have damage but it is the most important time to force ourselves.
One thing we all have in common are beating hearts and I now learned how easily they can be broken.
I sadly cannot change sudden loss but I can and will work hard on keeping my heart healthy and expressing loving words to those around me every day that I can. Our younger generation learned the hard knocks of the test of time too early. My prayer is for them to not have to endure this pain again for a very long time.
Two months ago I had no idea I had a broken heart. I will always be saddened by this experience and while my heart will never be totally fixed life has forever changed. In honor of Megan I am going to close with some advice that I feel a doctor may not say but I know to be true for sure!
Keep taking photographs friends. They are not for today but for one day.
My digital frame's title changed but I am blessed to have so many past memories to add today. Megan's beautiful shining face on my frame gives my heart peace and knowing I have her love embedded on my heart will help me through each test of time I will face the following days, months and even years to come.
The prescription for true healing of the heart is compassion, love and memories. Do all of these things on a daily basis and you will get through all the tests of times in your life too.
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