My cellphone was on mute but from the corner of my eye I noticed her name and sensed it was going to be sad news and gave myself a moment before answering. My attempt at preparing myself did not ease the pain I felt for her as she informed me she had to put her best friend of 17 years to sleep.
She is a dear friend from New York and here I am in Atlanta wanting to hug her but at the same time wanted to talk to her like we always did.
The love of our dog is something we both share and through the years we would have lengthy discussions on how difficult life was getting as the years were creeping up on Princess and Rex. We both agreed how difficult it was when the barking would not stop and we could not figure out what was wrong. They were slowing up but we somehow made each other laugh through it.
The conversation that day was not about my stress with Princess but I sure could use her advice.
That same week Kevin and I took Princess to the vet to have a tumor on her back leg checked. Upon examination the vet noticed a number of lumps and suggested we think about having them biopsied. We decided we would stick to our original plan and agreed to needle biopsy just the one on her leg. A few days later we learned there were spindle cells which indicated she had cancer.
The story of Princess instantly has a new headline that went from I have a fatty tumor to I have cancer
My friend would understand how angry I am! She would understand my question as to why we needed to know this! She would understand my fear of not knowing what to do next! She would listen to my ranting about how Princess is already on medication for high liver enzymes as well as how she already had two knee surgeries. How much else can we put her through? She would also understand my question; how much more can we afford?
I had to be strong for my dear friend that day for she was in far more pain than I could imagine
I listened and felt her pain and told her the words she already knew in her heart; that Rex felt how loved he was and knew it was time so say good-bye. I listened and comforted her when she explained the guilt of having to make the decision to say good-bye and I honestly understood for I feel the same in not having the other tumors looked at.
I thought oh Lord, can't you send down a pill that we can give our pets when confusing situations arise?
How great would it be if our pets came with three small pills when they arrived in our lives that we could use whenever we needed help with a hard decision. It would sure be easier looking into those big beautiful brown eyes for me to listen to her feelings versus ignoring my sad heart and try to make the best decision.
I glance over at Princess snoring next to me and it occurred to me that she was not stressed over this at all. Sometimes she makes lots of noise and thinks life really sucks which are the same thoughts I am having lately. The difference is once I give her a hug, kiss or most importantly food she is back to her, wagging of the tail because life is good, dance. She knows how to let it go.
I felt the string of light Princess has given us all these years and realized our hearts truly are connected. The gloomy new headline is taking away the light that is shining next to me right now.
I smile thinking of the happy memories my friend in New York had the day she invited neighbors and friends into her backyard to throw Rex a 16th birthday party. I can still smell the wonderful BBQ grill which had all of his favorite foods cooking on it.
Kevin and I learned through witnessing their love that we too must keep the light shining and continue the memories with Princess as long as we can. Headlines change very quickly and if we waste a second living in darkness we only will have ourselves to blame.
Princess only worries about the moment she is in and right now is looking at me for it is our routine time to go out. I can see through that beautiful bright face that she is saying I am fine Mom, can we go walking now?
Tomorrow we will make an appointment with a surgeon to discuss options for Princess but we are not making any decisions until we know all the facts.
My friend in New York knew the decision was right and I know Kevin and I will do the same. There are no wrong decisions when they are made with unconditional love.
Rex, it was time for you to follow the rainbow and I know you are shedding so much colorful light in heaven. You will be missed but never forgotten. It is going to take Mommy some time but I know before long my phone will ring and I will see her name on my screen and we are going to laugh at all the light you brought to us all.
Princess, you have given us so much joy the past eleven years and we are not packing up that string of colorful bulbs just yet. We are going to fight this little girl the best way we can!
Our pets are only here a little while but they are our greatest teachers. Don't stay mad long, hug and kiss and don't stress for it takes away from the string of light of living.
OK Princess, time to take our walk now. We have no idea where the road is going to lead us but always know, whether near or far; you will always be the shining light in our lives.
Little girl, you are Mine and Daddy's forever best friend.
She is a dear friend from New York and here I am in Atlanta wanting to hug her but at the same time wanted to talk to her like we always did.
The love of our dog is something we both share and through the years we would have lengthy discussions on how difficult life was getting as the years were creeping up on Princess and Rex. We both agreed how difficult it was when the barking would not stop and we could not figure out what was wrong. They were slowing up but we somehow made each other laugh through it.
The conversation that day was not about my stress with Princess but I sure could use her advice.
That same week Kevin and I took Princess to the vet to have a tumor on her back leg checked. Upon examination the vet noticed a number of lumps and suggested we think about having them biopsied. We decided we would stick to our original plan and agreed to needle biopsy just the one on her leg. A few days later we learned there were spindle cells which indicated she had cancer.
The story of Princess instantly has a new headline that went from I have a fatty tumor to I have cancer
My friend would understand how angry I am! She would understand my question as to why we needed to know this! She would understand my fear of not knowing what to do next! She would listen to my ranting about how Princess is already on medication for high liver enzymes as well as how she already had two knee surgeries. How much else can we put her through? She would also understand my question; how much more can we afford?
I had to be strong for my dear friend that day for she was in far more pain than I could imagine
I listened and felt her pain and told her the words she already knew in her heart; that Rex felt how loved he was and knew it was time so say good-bye. I listened and comforted her when she explained the guilt of having to make the decision to say good-bye and I honestly understood for I feel the same in not having the other tumors looked at.
I thought oh Lord, can't you send down a pill that we can give our pets when confusing situations arise?
How great would it be if our pets came with three small pills when they arrived in our lives that we could use whenever we needed help with a hard decision. It would sure be easier looking into those big beautiful brown eyes for me to listen to her feelings versus ignoring my sad heart and try to make the best decision.
I glance over at Princess snoring next to me and it occurred to me that she was not stressed over this at all. Sometimes she makes lots of noise and thinks life really sucks which are the same thoughts I am having lately. The difference is once I give her a hug, kiss or most importantly food she is back to her, wagging of the tail because life is good, dance. She knows how to let it go.
I felt the string of light Princess has given us all these years and realized our hearts truly are connected. The gloomy new headline is taking away the light that is shining next to me right now.
I smile thinking of the happy memories my friend in New York had the day she invited neighbors and friends into her backyard to throw Rex a 16th birthday party. I can still smell the wonderful BBQ grill which had all of his favorite foods cooking on it.
Kevin and I learned through witnessing their love that we too must keep the light shining and continue the memories with Princess as long as we can. Headlines change very quickly and if we waste a second living in darkness we only will have ourselves to blame.
Princess only worries about the moment she is in and right now is looking at me for it is our routine time to go out. I can see through that beautiful bright face that she is saying I am fine Mom, can we go walking now?
Tomorrow we will make an appointment with a surgeon to discuss options for Princess but we are not making any decisions until we know all the facts.
My friend in New York knew the decision was right and I know Kevin and I will do the same. There are no wrong decisions when they are made with unconditional love.
Rex, it was time for you to follow the rainbow and I know you are shedding so much colorful light in heaven. You will be missed but never forgotten. It is going to take Mommy some time but I know before long my phone will ring and I will see her name on my screen and we are going to laugh at all the light you brought to us all.
Princess, you have given us so much joy the past eleven years and we are not packing up that string of colorful bulbs just yet. We are going to fight this little girl the best way we can!
Our pets are only here a little while but they are our greatest teachers. Don't stay mad long, hug and kiss and don't stress for it takes away from the string of light of living.
OK Princess, time to take our walk now. We have no idea where the road is going to lead us but always know, whether near or far; you will always be the shining light in our lives.
Little girl, you are Mine and Daddy's forever best friend.
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