Her first words were not hello as she entered my examination room during my latest physical but instead, we must find you a cardiologist.     It was not the words that upset me but how blunt they were spoken.    I wonder how my doctor would have felt if someone spoke in such a way to her.  

Due to my new patient status it took some time to get a cardiologist appointment and even a few more days to get the tests done but it all turned out fine.    Just a scare due to stress and anxiety.     

My heart is fine or so I thought.

Three weeks ago our family endured a very hard test as we got the sudden call that my 31 year old niece passed away.   I have gone to many funerals through my life but when you attend one of someone so young it makes the tests of time even  harder to bare.    She suffered seizure disorder but despite this life challenge the death came on suddenly.  We had no time to prepare our hearts and minds.  

In the blink of an eye I had to deal with another series of blunt words I did not expect.    

Just one month before her passing our family was celebrating the marriage of our son and daughter in law and suddenly we were gathered again but black ensembles replaced our festive formal attire.    The tests of time we now find ourselves facing feels like an uphill battle with occasional joyful moments mixed in.  

On New Years day of this year  I had visions of the perfect year as the kids wedding was approaching and both my husband and I would be turning 60 and we had many other planned trips and celebrations filling the white boxes of our calendar.     I purchased a digital photo frame and titled it my 2019 suitcase of happiness.     I began packing it with photographs of my daughter in laws bridal shower, their wedding,  my sister's 65th birthday and Easter and suddenly the picture frame's title changed.   What was intended to hold  memories and events of 2019 suddenly had downloaded glimpses of years gone by.   The fast moving digital frame of life had a sudden blunt turn that none of us expected. 

I gave this whole nightmare a lot of thought and this along with discussions with family made me aware of a huge lesson.

My nieces death made me stop judging my doctor's bluntness but instead consider she may have been feeling overwhelmed or stressed the day she  hurt my heart.    I myself have spoken harsh words when feeling poorly that I now know have hurt  others hearts.  With the knowledge of  the impact bluntness had on me I now make it a daily practice to try to speak gentler.  Hurting people hurt others and that is not fair!     Instead of hurting each others hearts we need to communicate better.   We also never fully know what a person is going through.   Love and compassion is what fixes hearts.   

The cardiologist had no idea how broken my heart would soon be however her prescription for health stays the same.  When feeling low or anxious change your activity is what was told to me.  Exercise, get together with friends and loved ones, eat well, listen to music, take a walk, read a book and pursue a hobby.    The true test of time is doing these things when our hearts have damage but it is the most important time to force ourselves. 

One thing we all have in common are beating hearts and I now learned how  easily they can be broken.   

​I sadly cannot change sudden loss but I can and will work hard on keeping my heart healthy  and expressing loving words to those around me every day that I can.  Our younger generation learned the hard knocks of the test of time too early.   My prayer is for them to not have to endure this pain again for a very long time.

Two months ago I had no idea I had a broken heart.   I will always be saddened by this experience and while my heart will never be totally fixed life has forever changed.    In honor of Megan I am going to close with some advice that I feel a doctor may not say but I know to be true for sure!

Keep taking photographs friends.  They are not for today but for one day. 

My digital frame's title changed but I am blessed to have so many past memories to add today.   Megan's beautiful shining face on my frame gives my heart peace and knowing I have her love embedded on my heart will help me through each test of time I will face the following days, months and even years to come.     

The prescription for true healing of the heart is compassion, love and memories.    Do all of these things on a daily basis  and you will get through all the tests of times in your life too.







   

I will be over in a few minutes were the words I told a friend when she called to come and visit.  When asked what the delay was my response;  "Im just finishing cleaning up the bathroom" was received with her exclaiming " I wish I loved to clean like you. "

I get the same response when I say anything about working out.   "It is wonderful how you love to workout." 
I am using this post to set things straight!   No, I really hate housework with a passion and really don't LOVE working out.
I am happy I give that illusion but a magician I am not!!!!!  

I like the house to be neat and orderly.   I like it when I feel I am doing my best to workout my heart and tone my body.   Enjoying the outcome versus doing the work are two different things and I give myself a good amount of pep talks every week.   I wish I could say there is a magical trick or fairy wand but I cannot.   It takes lots of Mental Pep Talks daily!

My husband, sister and I signed up for a 5K race in Atlanta this coming Sunday.   My sister and I did it two years ago but this will be my  husbands first race.  Nine months ago he would not have been able to endure such a goal.  He had arthritis in his knees, he was slightly over weight.  It took a total mindset and lots of mental pep talks to guide him to a trainer and a good diet with clean supplements and he has lost 33 pounds and is in his best shape ever.  

Our minds tend to go to familiar because it is easier than training ourselves to do the hard stuff.  

Watching him the past few months has made me work on  changing my mental dialogue.  Instead of procrastinating while scrolling social media reminding myself how  I NEED to workout  I now say I WANT to work out and use social media as my treat when done.  Balance is the reward of hard work but it all requires lots of mental pep talks.

I am incredibly grateful that Kevin knew it was necessary to shift his mental dialogue to work on getting in shape.  We both turn 60 this Summer and it is scary.    I have learned to create a North Star in my mind and inside are all those I love and a list of things I still want to do.  On the days when I don't feel like doing the hard stuff I have a nice chat with  myself and look up at my star.  Knowing they want me around as long as possible makes me WANT to get the hard stuff in every single day.    For me to enjoy spending time with all of you I need to keep up with the clutter on a daily basis.   I on a daily basis work on removing  the negative mind conversation that keep me stuck in the old behavior and replace them with mental pep talks.

When I spend time with friends or loved ones but have clutter and pain inside me it distracts from the joy.    When I take the time to do the hard stuff first my life feels easier.  I challenge you to take a moment to have a mental pep talk with yourself right this second while it is fresh on your mind.  Close your eyes and think of all those people you love and the things you have left to do.  What hard thing will you do every day to keep that star shining bright?   

Every one of us has special things to fill our North Star but clutter makes us forget.   It does not require a fairy wand to get there but just a few mental pep talks.    

You now know my magic trick of creating an illusion of LOVING the HARD stuff.    It is your turn to be the magician in your life and start creating your North Star.    Every thought  in that bright star wants you to succeed.    I encourage you to take the hard  steps. I promise distractions will not stop you!  You will run a race you never in a million years thought you could and your friends will love how you effortlessly perform all that HARD stuff too.

Let the magic begin!






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The Christmas tree returned for it's yearly visit which meant my favorite chair had to be taken from the sunny window where it lived all year and  placed in the corner for the entire month of December.   It was that time where the focus was on the six foot guest and it was the job of her twinkling accessories to bring cheer to the room.    The gifts were wrapped and placed under her and the cooking,  baking, ginger bread making and visits began.   So much activity squeezed into a few short weeks.

All of a sudden the tree began shedding its needles and the room  was becoming messy.  No more visitors, cookies or music.   Time to rearrange the room again.

The holidays have come and gone and I am back in my favorite chair in its sunny spot holding the pile of greeting cards I received. I feel sad thinking that we only hear from many of the people whose hand writing and pictures I now see only once a year.    

Why cant we give each other the gift of our time all year long?   

I think back on my life and I received many beautiful wrapped gifts for sure but can hardly remember what was inside them anymore.  Ask me a memory about my Aunt Hilda however and I can go on for hours.   

With her huge smile she welcomed unexpected guests  with warmth all year long.    She lived alone but was never lonely for her phone was constantly ringing and when she was not talking she would be writing notes to friends.  The cast of the Home Shopping Club were like her family as she listened to it all day long while doing chores in her kitchen.  She was always on the lookout for a special deal to share.       I cannot tell you how many surprise boxes of dried fruit, nuts and caramel apples were delivered to my door for no reason at all.   Those are gifts I do remember and at the time probably did not appreciate but now that I am older I smile.   

She refused to rearrange her entire living room to make it  merry and bright like I do.  She did not have to.      The month of December she placed a table top tree on the cedar chest that lived in front of her window all year long.  When you peeked in from outside it looked like it was six feet tall but you were not disappointed upon entering the home because she was the light in the room.    She didn't cram love into a few weeks but gave it all year long. 

She passed away three days after Easter Sunday in 2006 but that holiday was the gift of time that was the most precious to me.  We did not care about wrapped boxes but enjoyed a day of laughter and fun.   She was selfless and despite days of feeling low she was always doing something for someone else.   I cannot believe how she even tried her best to make dying easier for us.

Three weeks before she passed away we bought her a dog not knowing the leukemia in her body would take her so soon.  Kevin and I inherited that precious dog she named Princess.   Princess is now 13 with an inoperable tumor on her left paw and we don't know how fast it will grow.  I know our days are getting numbered  and each day is another gift of time together.

I don't think I ever truly dealt with saying good-bye to my beautiful Aunt especially since I have this precious dog she left behind.  We thought we were giving her a gift but it turned out I received the greatest gift instead.  That is the funny thing about a good deed I suppose; it helps you more than the person for which it was intended in so many ways.  I try not to think of saying good-bye to Princess yet for I don't want to waste a minute being sad.  Like that Easter Sunday we knew it was going to happen but we did not discuss it but enjoyed our time.

I turn 60 this year and realistically know that my days of giving gifts of my time are getting numbered.    I hope I will be given the gift of welcoming another twinkling visitor into my living room next December but maybe it does not have to be six  foot but one that will fit into the corner so the chair can stay where it belongs.
 
Can you imagine being gone 13 years and having someone you loved talk about you as if you were here just yesterday?  That certainly is a life well lived and I am incredibly lucky to have witnessed it.

As I reach 60 I am understanding how exhausted life has been rearranging things for the perfect package when it is the celebration that matters.   My Aunt showed up every day and celebrated 365 events.  I have work to do but I am going to try my best to make days eventful like she did.  

One thing I am going to promise is I will be keeping in better touch with all these faces and notes I hold in my hand today.  I look forward to chats, writing notes, playing music, cooking, baking and lots of photo taking too.   Watch out for you never know if there will be a surprise box outside your door too. 

With my chair back by my sunny window I realize I did not have to deal with my Aunt dying because she will forever live inside of me which is probably why I am not sad.    She gave me the greatest present I could ever ask for and that will never go away.  The most precious packages definitely are the gifts of time.






















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It feels like yesterday my husband Kevin decided at the age of 59 to stop dreaming of photography and started a part-time business.   To keep it a family type of business he asked me to be his assistant on photo shoots. 

I am not proud to admit this but I have a take charge personality and I like to be the lead horse so suddenly being my husbands ASSISTANT was hard.    I assisted a few shoots but was not liking it at all and was actually becoming angry.  I finally sat myself down and asked myself what  was going on.   After a few weeks I found the answer was I need to be NICER TO ME.

I have gone through a lot of adjusting the last two years. We moved 850 miles from our family and friends and I was getting used to that change when Kevin decided to join a gym and because he trains at 6:00AM he works from home more often.   It isn't that I am jealous for I am  proud of all that he is accomplishing.  His being in "MY OFFICE"   was taking me away from the passions I have.  I was feeling guilty for my feelings for "MY OFFICE" is his "HOME" and he has a right to be here.

One thing I love about Kevin is he is not a selfish person and  truly lives his life to serve others.    His goal is not to be rich and famous but to develop himself into the best person that he can be while enjoying his passion.  Once he picked up the camera and saw the views from the lens it opened his eyes to be healthier and he lost 33 pounds!   

I am learning to see our real business is our life together and if he isn't here I will be the lead horse every day all by myself.

I began to stop screaming my frustrations at Kevin and instead explain my feelings and in turn listen to his.

What I learned during our chat was I created  this block in my head that said women who work from home need to have the cleanest house, with hot meals planned and the closets neat and tidy.   Because of this "stigma"  I was stressed for I felt I  wasn't keeping up.   With an exploding mind Kevin would "stroll in" checking off his goals and proudly shout out another "booking"  and I was resentful because I was not happy with me.     I was stressed and reacted with my auto-pilot lead horse answer of  "ANOTHER THING FOR ME TO DO, ARE YOU KIDDING??? "as I threatened to smash his camera.   

He quietly listened and explained I did not have to be perfect and that we were a team.  In his busy world he does not always notice what I need but if I calmly explain my frustrations he will help.   I always felt he should know what I need help with but once I realize it is OK to just tell him things changed.   

A saint I am not for  I am still a work in progress and I remind myself of my goals every day.    I am the only one putting my dreams on hold because of feeling I must be perfect.    My ego is what is blocking my dreams not Kevin accomplishing his.    I slowly am learning to not worry about what anyone thinks, to communicate better, not worry about being in charge, but most important I am working on kicking  the word perfect out of my vocabulary.

We have another photo shoot this afternoon and today my role will once again be assistant.  I smile as my "boss" just walked into the room with a huge good morning handing me a hot cup of coffee.   It was just at the time I was typing this last paragraph for he gave me some space to write.

What a beautiful reminder that it does not matter who is in charge and having to be the lead horse was causing me a lot of stress.  Our real family business is US and our HOME and treating each other with respect every day.     Running a business takes lots of work and effort by everyone on the team.   Now that we both erased the word perfection, talked things out and are respecting each others passions we both are happier but best of all our days are so MUCH NICER!

I placed my eye glasses on the side of the sink and started my morning routine with a splash of warm water on my face and as I lifted my head to the mirror I saw the reflection of my Mother through the fogged glass of my son's bathroom mirror.

I arrived in New York City five days ago to visit him and my soon to be daughter In law and I now sit with my toast and orange juice at their kitchen table as they both are still asleep.   I must admit, it feels a little scary for this was my Mother's routine after she moved in with us.   Mom had five years of mornings like this and I suddenly can see the view from her lens.

How lonely she must have been to leave her home, life and friends!

Mom was very comfortable as am I.  The kids allow me the freedom to make myself at home every time I visit.  I actually am typing this on my son's laptop and I honestly turned it on  knowing it would not be an issue.  As I sit listening to the hum of the refrigerator I am grateful to be loved but the reality is I'm not home and now can feel how my Mom felt watching me live my life while hers was ending.

I would often come into the kitchen and see my Mother who tried to cheerily say Good Morning but her face told another story and it frustrated me.  We would take her out on errands with us, take her to dinner, allow her to do anything she pleased in the home and she was genuinely grateful.  But she was sad.  

I always felt my generation was completely different than my parents.  I often look at my wedding album and think my Mom looked much older in her mother of the bride dress  than I will in my  Mother of the groom.   I thought I was more modern than she  until I saw of glimpse of her story and wonder if history will repeat itself as I breakfast at my son's kitchen table.  

I often question if  I should have thought about assisted living for my Mom.    My heart told me I wanted to be the one to care for her but maybe she would have been happier in a different setting.  I know friendships are key to living a happy life.   Would she have ended her last chapter happier?

There is no point looking through the rearview mirror of the decisions that have  been made and the chapter of life that is over.  I have no control as I type this to say if history will repeat itself as my story continues.   I do know for sure that Mom cherished the love around her bed as her story was ending and that gives me peace.

Through my experience of blending the old generation with the new I learned we all need people to talk, laugh and confide that are our age.  Every morning after breakfast I heard my  Mother whispering to her good friend Sophie on her jitterbug cell phone "Oh Sophie, this generation is so different than we were aren't they?"   I only imagine how many "calls" she would have made if she could text.  

Life is a classroom my friends.  When we stop learning we stop living.   I believe staying social is very important for it kept Mom a little happier on her last chapter.   I now know more than ever that I am going to try my best to be the energizer bunny my Mother was until the day she became weak.    

I hear the sound of an alarm from inside the closed bedroom door which means the day is beginning.  I have to say good-bye to all of you my "Sophies" .    I thank you for reading this and it was wonderful chatting with all of you this morning.    It is time for me to wipe the glass of my Mom's image away from the mirror and use it to smile at the happiness I feel standing in my son's bathroom. 

As my image returns I know in my heart what truly matters.  Yes, they may do things differently Sophie  but I know for sure that history repeats for I feel incredibly loved by this New Generation. 

As I opened the refrigerator door to make room for the new week of groceries  I was upset to see the moldy blueberries that landed way into the back of the shelf.     Oh what a waste I heard myself mutter!  I must stop doing this!

I made a vow now that I am 59 my journey to 60 was going to be filled with health and wellness.  I  have started social media health groups and my followers are my inspiration on this trip so I knew I had to rethink my weekly shopping purchases! 

 I immediately took everything out of the refrigerator and laid it on the counter.  I then took all the shelves and drawers out and scrubbed away.  I neatly put everything back and sadly discarded the expired salad dressings and I am ashamed to list the many more wasted items.   I did the same routine with the freezer.   

After feeling proud of the clean refrigerator I did the same with my clothes closet.  I began sorting and donating and saw many pretty blouses and skirts I had bought for special occasions in the past that never were worn again.  Some things I had completely forgotten were in there.   Like the refrigerator I tossed out the old and organized the rest.  

The neat refrigerator and closets made me feel accomplished but at the same time sad.     Compared to how they once looked they now seem empty.    I know I can write honestly for many of you probably feel the same.  Thoughts of having  people around to cook for as well as events which required the outfits are no longer a part of my life.    I continued to buy because it made me feel comforted to have so many things.  Empty shelves are lonely.  

We never see anything clearly when cluttered.   Like everyone I needed to give myself time to sort my feelings.  It took a few weeks to realize that I may not have lots of people over anymore or parties to attend very much but they are part of my memories.  I do have a happy marriage, we both are putting our minds on our small businesses, I have time to do my hobbies such as writing, and I am making friends and am thoroughly enjoying getting to know them better.   

It is not easy to let the routines of the past go because it involves change.    Love lives in our hearts not on cluttered shelves.  All the blueberries and salad dressing purchases in the world will not give me my old life back.  

I came to the conclusion I don't want my legacy to be storage containers.   Quite honestly I don't think too many kids want our stuff when we are gone.  I have learned to rid myself now so they don't have to do it later.  I am learning at 59 I want my legacy to be adventure, laughter, learning new things and staying as healthy as I can so I will be around for a long time.   

I recently read a quote in an inspirational book I love that said.
                                               "Nothing is wasted.  Every single moment is preparing you for the next"

So, if you are like me and the people  that live in your home has lessened you need to know it is time to purchase one pint of blueberries.  Should you need more, the store will still have them.  I know it is sad.  Do not spend your time crying.  Instead put on one of those special occasion shirts that you know are hidden in the back of your closet.   I can now smile at the empty shelves for I have a lot less housework.  With all of this extra time I can spend it with all my new amigos.   

Nothing is a waste friends.  It may not be the same but the story continues.  Let us  stick together and make these  the best days of our lives.


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 I heard it said to find your purpose think of all the things you loved to do as a child.

Television shows were past times for many of my friends growing up but not mine.  As a child I would much rather have used  my allowance money and go to the newsstand and purchase the latest copy of tiger beat or teen  magazine and read it out loud to my friend Maria who lived in the apartment below us.    We used to say we were going to be news reporters when we grew up as we shared the latest gossip along with the newest trends.  

​As an older me I still prefer a good magazine read over television watching.  Books and magazines keep me openminded to new experiences!

I cannot believe how fast the years are going by and I have only a few days left of being 58.

As I get older and begin the start of a new age the anticipation gives me the same excitement I felt when touring an old mansion.   There are many things I want to do and it feels like I am  standing in the foyer of a  beautiful old house and seeing the sparkling chandeliers and paintings as well as the doors peeking out from the huge staircase.  For so many years for one reason or another I stayed stuck in the foyer.  I would habitually do the same thing over and over. I would read the books and look at the pictures but had nothing to report because I felt afraid to try new things.   

My fondness of books and reading had me join a community book club here in my neighborhood where I met a lovely neighbor who I now call friend.  She is very musical, crafty and colorful;  all the things I never thought I was.  I am conservative and silly but I am finding as I peek into the doors of her life that I see myself copying her from time to time.  She may notice I now have flowered jeans and how when we are shopping I have a bottle of $2.99 sangria in the cart as I enjoyed it so much when having wine and cheese at her house.   Small things to some but fun changes for me!
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Saying yes to a playdate was much easier as a little girl  but my new friend makes it welcoming to try new things as she invites my sister and I to comedy night outings and last Sunday we had so much fun doing water aerobics with her at our community pool.  Oh how the young sun bathers looked at us like we were nuts.  Those old broads are making so much racket in the pool.  But it sure was a fun door to have opened and one I would never had even thought when stuck in the foyer.

​As often happens in life Maria and I lost touch through the years so I am not sure if she fulfilled the dream of news reporter but I will always think fondly of her.  Peeking through the window of my childhood home and seeing us reading books brings back the happiest times for me.  Deep down I am still that same girl who loves to flip through magazines.  Recipes, crafts, fashion, movies, books, trips, workout tips!  My heart is racing just thinking of all the wonderful things I can learn to do as I climb all the stairs and begin flinging open the doors.

 I hope I will be around ten years from now as I end my 60's being the same girl who is excited to climb the stairs up to the attic of the mansion.  Oh my, can you imagine all the wonderful treasures that are hidden up there!

​What I once called leisurely activities I now call life.  I am so ready to explore every single room and try something new and different each and every day.  

Yes I enjoy an occasional television show now and then however this older little girl truly enjoys a good book or magazine.     I may not have Maria to be my co-reporter but I hold her memory in my heart as I look forward to reporting everything I learn to all of you.

Goodbye 58, hello 59.  I look forward to every leisurely step that awaits me on the journey to the start of 60.  Oh how I look forward to opening the doors!  

Having the courage to step out of the foyer came just in time!   In a few days I will  blow out my 59 birthday cake candles but  I no longer need to make a wish.  It has already come true!  I will instead say with a heart filled with gratitude  thank you God for this incredible journey......These TRULY  are the best days of my life!



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Kevin and I will soon be married 38 years and for the most part get along perfectly fine!  I tell him I love him every single day but I will admit I feel guilty as I try to find the right words to ask my  next two questions?   

Do you ever wish you had a private area in your home that is just YOURS?  A place that nobody will disturb your things?  

Just this morning I came into OUR bedroom with OUR  laptop and closed the door to concentrate on MY writing  when it was not five minutes and OUR dog began scratching the door to come in.  

​Sharing everything can get stressful!!!    I went to get a waffle out of the freezer and screamed some "not right words"  as the icepack landed on my foot.   I organized the refrigerator on Saturday to welcome new groceries and here it is Friday and is once again disorganized.  Why cant he put things back on the right shelf I mumble to myself!

​In he walks to get something out of his dresser drawer and I see myself scowl in the mirror across from my bed.  He noticed my annoyance and gave me a bewildered look as he cannot figure out what I am upset about.   I want to scream you are ruining my concentration but immediately feel guilty.  I certainly would not want him to look at me the way I see my reflection looking at him right now!!!

​OUR dog Princess is also  ruining my concentration as she is laying at the foot of the bed snoring!!!    I stopped typing and grabbed my cellphone and began searching my social media to see what all of you were doing and suddenly I found the right words in your stories.

An acquaintance wrote, prayers needed for a friend whose husband had a heart attack driving home from work and has passed away.  

Wow!!!   This could be me one day!!!!

​Suddenly the dog snoring is not so disturbing as I remember just a year ago Kevin and I asked for prayers as she was having a cancerous tumor removed from her back leg.  There will be a day I am going to miss the snoring.   

​I actually have a friend whose husband died suddenly and instantly recalled what she had gone through and how she would love a moment of sharing everything for just another day.

​While actions speak louder than words I am not perfect and am going to react to things from time to time.  The snoring annoys me at times!!!  No!!! I don't want to have to wear shoes when I go make myself a waffle.  I do need my space every once in a while.     I also know how blessed I am and that there may come a time when I am going to wish these days had not gone by so fast.

It is not nice to lose patience but I am not perfect.  Sharing stories are important for reading all of your frustrations makes me feel normal.  I think we all can agree there are times we do not want a waffle falling on our foot or someone messing up our stuff.

​​​There are going to be frustrations!  Believe me 38 years is a long time to be married and to expect to always see eye to eye is a longshot.  There are many words expressed on a daily basis.    We made a vow no matter what to always end with an I love you!

​We do not know from day to day what it will bring and because I am not perfect I  try my best to say I love you to all those I hold dear.   It is important to me that those close to me always know even if I may not agree with them that I love them.    I don't want to have regrets and somehow those three words are so easy to say and make all the silly frustrations be forgotten.

​At the end of every story there are a lot of words that were said but truly I love you are  the ones that matter!!  I love you are the words that at the end of the day will be remembered.  

They are for sure the only right words!


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Did you ever find yourself in a stage where you were totally disciplined and all of a sudden your routine changes and you know you should be working extra hard but weaken?

The beginning of the year I began eating well and working out and made great  progress with a five pound weight loss.   My willpower left me as I went to New York to visit family.  Pizza, Mexican food, cappuccino and matzo ball soup won.  I know there are Extra-Ordinary people who would not have weakened and I admire them.

​I realize this is not the top  "breaking the rules crime"  but commitment to me is huge and my actions did not match my promise to myself  and it makes me feel disappointed.   I began thinking of people battling alcohol, drugs, shopping, and many other addictions.  Once they make a vow to stop a bad behavior they do not have the option like I did to say "it's OK because I am on vacation." 
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​This experience reminded me that it takes an ordinary person one moment to make the wrong choice and jeopardize their future.  All of our choices have consequences that transcend a lifetime.    

​My crime of putting my five pounds back is not a huge one.  But it taught me not to judge others.   Stop and think for a second, when was the last time you found yourself criticizing someone?   We tend to personalize events when it comes to others actions.

​We all need encouragement and teachers to show us the way.  Deep down I want willpower all the time but I also am aware that ordinary people make mistakes.  Every masterpiece has a flaw.   The best teachers in my life have been tough circumstances.

The New York City food choices made me understand the importance of how tempting weakness can be and the effort and courage it takes to admit it and change.   Disappointments can be stepping stones.  We all need guidance and my wish is for each of us to stop creating road blocks!

​Is there something you have done, or someone in your life that may need forgiving?  The choice to try to find forgiveness can transcend a lifetime.   

​The world could be a great place if together we do the extra work to live, love and laugh.  Those three ordinary words can begin an extra ordinary journey

 Success is not about being perfect!!!  I am reminding myself I am a success because I have the ability to be honest and truthful and admit my flaws.    I officially forgive myself for gaining those five pounds while on vacation.

​You are extra ordinary too so start forgiving!!!!!!!!!!!

​We are a few days away from Valentines Day. Don't be like everyone else and give the ordinary gift of chocolates.  Be extra ordinary and give the gift of forgiveness.  That gift choice takes a lot of extra work but the benefits will last a lifetime.

 It is time to stop reading and start doing!!!   I have wrapped up the gift of forgiveness and not only did the recipient love it I received an extra ordinary gift as well.  Forgiveness heals hearts.  Don't waste another second.   Shut your computer screen and forgive right this second while you have the chance.

​Today may be ordinary but with a little forgiveness tomorrow can be the start of many extra ordinary days to come!!!!




 

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Someone asked me the other day if I had the ability to encourage others to change one thing what would it be?  The answer was simple!  Find the joy in each day for they go by quickly! 

​This fact became quite clear to me as the new year rang in.   

Last month while sending holiday greetings I came to the address of a co-worker I had not seen in 30 years.    We kept in touch now and then but somehow we had a gap of 5 years for which we had not spoken.    I was upset with myself for never transferring her telephone number to the address book and thanks to the purchase of a new cellphone I lost her number.   I felt excited when I saw her face on my social media search and instantly sent her a private message.    She responded with her cell phone number and  we arranged a phone call the next morning.  

The moment I heard her voice the fact we had not spoken for so long disappeared and it felt like we had kept in touch forever.   During the two hour chat we reminisced  of our working together memories along with both our joys and sorrows.   The following day she happily told me she was hosting a "slime" birthday party for her grand daughter and had some errands however every time I suggested we hang up she began a new topic.  It was obvious neither of us wanted the chat to end but finally our hands became numb and our jaws hurt from laughing and we agreed to  say good-bye with the promise of doing this again soon.

​New years eve right before the ball dropped I happened to look on my telephone and I noticed her children were writing on her social media wall that she passed away.  I honestly thought I was not reading clearly.  I quickly called to Kevin that it seemed this lovely person passed away.  We both were reading all the comments so confused.  Sadly it was true.  

She was gone!

​I had no idea while going through my address book that morning that I was being led to say good-bye.  If I had not touched base with her that day I would never have known she was gone. 

​This changed me and I now see the simplest things as joyful!

​Something as simple as Kevin and I working out together at the gym was once something I took for granted but now know it is a huge deal.   We can do this together!!!    As I type this it is 17 degrees in Atlanta, Georgia but I have heat and hot water and a roof over my head where many people don't.!!!!  The little conveniences we overlook but miss when they are no longer functioning properly. 

​In between birth and death you can do a lot of living.  From the pictures I am seeing on my dear co-workers wall she sure did a lot of that!   From our conversation I could hear in her voice all the exclamation points that ended each exciting sentence of a memory she was sharing.      To quote her; "I do not do drama, I just do not have the time for it"!!!!   

​​When we worked together many years ago her children were small and I would hear her talking to them on the telephone saying "I am here for your needs child, not your wants"!   Oh my friend if we could all just be happy with what we have and appreciate it more.  

​I am working hard the first few days of this new year to not let small stuff annoyances rob me of joy.  Silly things like someone parked in the fire hydrant two weeks ago set me off in a tizzy where I had to complain to the leasing office.   It is one thing to mention it for safety reasons but to fume over this I now see is unnecessary.    I am learning how these silly hot button annoyances really are joy thieves.   

​Where before I did not rush to answer a text or phone call I now try to do better.   Who knows if there will be a next time.  Who knows if there will be a second chance!    I am learning to appreciate each conversation.

I never realized how much she made the world better until I saw the comments on her death.  She truly let the healing light of love shine on everyone around her.   

​I came across a poem called the dash written by an author Linda Ellis. It is about the dash on our tombstones between our birthdate and death.    I am going to end with just two paragraphs of the poem for it is rather long.   If I was able to change just one thing it would be to have the words of this beautiful poem written on every cloud in the sky so we would look up and be reminded every day of how precious our lives are.  Find the joy in each day!!!   I wish you many joyful exclamation mark moments as you fill in the days of your 2018 calendar for they will one day be our dash!!!! 

                                   It matters not how much we own, the cars, the house, the cash.
                                   It matters how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
​                                   So think about this long and hard.
                                   Are there things you'd like to change?
                                   For you never know how much time is left
​                                   that can still be re-arranged.

​                                   If we could just slow down enough to consider what's true and real
​                                   And always try to understand the way other people feel
                                   And be less quick to anger and show appreciation more
​                                   And love the people in our lives like we've never loved before.






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